How things are going to be
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Sequel to 'When the truth comes out'. Neil and Andrea settle into the way things are going to be in their lives from now on…without each other.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: How things are going to be.

**Author**: Loz

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Story number twenty. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:

_**(1) **After he's at her door – 2486705 **(11)** When they're back together – 2619492_

_**(2) **When the mighty fall – 2506192 **(12) **Life almost in balance – 2630121_

_**(3) **While his wife's away – 2525486**(13) **Life under pressure – 2666280_

_**(4) **While they're away – 2543010 **(14) **Trying to have a life together – 2699235_

_**(5) **When love's not working – 2543013 **(15) **Outside influences on their lives – 2704730_

_**(6) **Boundaries when broken up – 2562611 **(16) **When things start falling apart – 2727112_

_**(7) **What happens on the train – 2579012 **(17)** When they're approaching the end again - 2750079_

_**(8) **When they work together – 2595808 **(18) **Trying not to drift apart – 2891564_

**_(9)_** _When she wants him back – 2598312 **(19)** When the truth comes out - 2912317_

_**(10) **When they're stuck together – 2611364 **(20) **How things are going to be - 2954769_

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.

**Summary: **Neil and Andrea settle into the way things are going to be in their lives from now on…without each other.

**Authors' notes: **You may tell me different but I'm not sure about the quality of this part, when I pen and paper wrote it I must have been in extreme fast forward mode because I've padded it out a lot and changed things when I typed it up, anyway as always comments (especially praise – hehehe!) always appreciated. **See also end note**.

**Thanks: **To Lornz, Fabio, Phoenix Angelwolf, Meegan Boulton, madz, Gem for your continuing reviews and to Lorraine for first time reviewing.

**Wishes: **Get well, good luck, hope inspiration strikes – Hope that covers everyone!

**Disclaimers**: Me owning The Bill is not how things are going to be, I have no association nor make any profit unless your currency is reviews.

* * *

The next morning, Friday, Andrea can't get out of bed, the sun greets her but she immediately pulls the sheets over her head, to say she feels low is being kind and she can see no point to getting out of bed.

Even affectionate licks from Cally cannot improve her mood. None-the-less she remains glued to Andrea's side.

Andrea does manage to reach for the phone and call in, glad it's Smithy that answers.

"What's going on Dunbar?" He asks when she says she's too sick to come in.

"How much time do I have owing?" Andrea answers his question with one of her own.

"I don't know I'd have to check." There's an underlying question in his voice.

"I need next week off too."

"Dunbar are you o.k.?" Now he's really concerned.

"Please Smithy." From under the covers she doesn't want to have to beg anyone else, she's at rock bottom.

"I'll tell anyone who asks that your Great Aunt died." Smithy says as Gina enters his office.

"Thanks Smithy." Andrea manages appreciation but not a smile; she hangs up without saying goodbye.

"What was that?" Gina Gold immediately launches in.

"Andrea Dunbar, she's not coming in today or next week." Smithy frowns. "She sounded so…down."

"Did she say why?" Gina starts thinking.

"No she didn't."

"It's probably a monthly girl thing, she'll be back Monday." Gina suggests, already having her own suspicions.

Later that shift she finds Yvonne in custody wrestling with a man who's doing his best to resist. "When you've got a moment," She says to Yvonne and heads back to her office.

Andrea pushes the phone off the end of the bed, still under the covers. For the first time that day but not the last she cries.

"Andrea Dunbar just called in sick, for today and her next five shifts." Gina says looking up when Yvonne enters.

"Did she say why?" Yvonne asks with interest.

"No but Smithy said she sounded down." Yvonne can make nothing of it really, so far, "The DI?"

"Reported for duty this morning though he looked like hell and went straight into a meeting with the Super."

"Wasn't applying for leave was he?" Yvonne says dryly.

"No but the Super did send him home because he was in no fit state to work."

"This doesn't get any easier to work out, they're obviously not going away but if they're both upset then something's gone on."

"How would you feel about a check up visit tonight?" It's really the last thing Yvonne wants to do.

"The door might be slammed in my face." Yvonne warns.

"As long as it's not the DI that does it."

Andrea doesn't get out of bed for the knocking on the door that night, nor does she at all the next day. The word depression is very much prevalent in her mind. Sunday she gets herself to the sofa and eats something. Monday is her interview.

* * *

Andrea checks herself in the mirror, it was painfully hard to pull her suit out and look at Neil's next to it in her wardrobe. She runs her hands down the material and on impulse takes her favourite charcoal suit of his, white shirt, maroon tie and buries it at the far side between the wall and all her clothes. After she's done it she looks to see if the suit is hidden or visible, not recognising it could be considered a desperate symbolic attempt to keep Neil in her life – hiding something he'll want back thus keeping him in contact because it's 'missing' and he wants it back. In contact for how long who knows.

Cally bounds around happy to see Andrea up and about but she still sticks close, not totally convinced Andrea is back to normal and she's right.

Andrea is reminded she'll need to do something about all of the things of Neil's that have made themselves at home and an arrangement will need to be come to for Cally.

It threatens to bring her back down but she knows this job is after all, all she has left.

After Thursday night she decided she couldn't rely on Neil to not reveal her, being honest with herself she couldn't blame him if he did. She's come to have a strange attitude towards anyone who's done the same thing she's done; she'd want them exposed as well.

She needs this job to hopefully lessen the impact and repercussions when the Super and the rest of the station find out. Somehow saying goodbye to the rest of Sun Hill, other than Neil isn't that upsetting.

"I'm ready." Andrea announces to Cally, catching her reflection in the mirror, out of the corner of her eyes she sees the framed photo of her and Neil. Immediately she slaps it face down, it's too painful. She slides it into her underwear drawer, buried on the bottom.

She strides out of the flat confidant about the interview, later she strides out of the interview even more confidant.

It should be hers by Friday.

* * *

Figuring there's not much point using anymore of her time owing as she won't be back at Sun Hill for much longer and needs the chance to tie up loose ends, Andrea rings in on Thursday to say she'll be back the next day.

She approaches slowly looking at everyone outside and up at the building itself, wondering just what it has in store for her. A barrage of angry and bitter police officers seems to be the least that could happen.

She takes the darkened corridors, the ones least used, she checks down each cross corridor, mostly for the Super who she's certain Neil's gone to by now. Through the rectangular glass of the swinging door she sees Adam Okaro with another officer, scowl on his face. She slows but realises she must face what's coming; he stops momentarily with the scowl still on his face. "PC Dunbar."

"Sir," When he's passed Andrea she turns back to watch him, not sure if she's lucky or Neil's just been busy.

June Ackland is not impressed that Andrea's been seconded to CID with Leela and Amber out and although Andrea promises she'll hurry, she's in no rush to get there.

She knocks with all the confidence of the impostor she is on his door, waiting till he calls come in. The person on the other end of the phone is promised a call back, the phone goes down quickly and he rushes to shut and lock the door.

"You shouldn't be in this station; you shouldn't be in that uniform." He admonishes, hand still on the door handle.

"I passed the Super this morning." Andrea broaches, ignoring his statement.

"I haven't made a decision yet, I've been busy with the Kennedy case, they're going to call someone in relation to the knife." Andrea's just relieved it won't be her.

"I'm not here to challenge your decision about us and I'm not here to ask you not to tell the Super about me." Neil leans against the back of his desk.

"Good because if you were I'd throw you out." It's a reality check on his new feelings for her.

"I went for the press office job on Monday, I should know by tomorrow, either way I'll be resigning." Neil looks at his shoes and Andrea hopes a tiny part of him doesn't want her to go, unlikely she knows.

"What about today?" It's clear he doesn't want her around active cases.

"I'm going to go down and tell Sergeant Ackland I'm not feeling well. I wanted to tell you, you should come and get your stuff when I'm not at the flat, just leave the key on the counter and shut the door behind you."

"Right well…" Neil looks past her shoulder. "Colin's coming back soon, so I don't know when that might be."

"O.k. well just call the flat, if I don't answer…" Hurt builds up on already open wounds with the words.

The bouncing box of his things and her key, from each other to Marilyn with pit stops in between had given her some hope. This is much more final, her actions more severe that her previous requests. "Who gets custody of Cally?" The one thing they still share.

"I can't have her in my building so I'll just have visiting rights." It's that easy…it's all over.

"Um…O.k." Andrea looks for more but it's all been said and both are too emotionally exhausted and raw to go over it again. He can't meet her eyes though she's silently pleading for something, anything, an ounce of warmth or forgiveness, or any amount of feeling. She knows it's selfish and she deserves none, that's what she gets.

She tries for one last time when her hand is on the door but he's forgotten her already, paperwork and the case his only priority.

June Ackland is annoyed at losing another officer, irrespective of the fact Andrea was in CID for the day. She only has to look once at Andrea's face to know she's not going to be any use to anyone today.

It's the face of someone shattered, someone empty, someone who has no one to blame but themselves for the fact they've lost something so precious and knows it. It's the face of someone without hope, it's the face of someone clinging to a tiny scrap of useless hope that doesn't exist…so desperately and it's the face of someone so sorry it's physically painful.

"Andrea are you alright?" June asks taking her glasses off her face and looking at Andrea with concern.

"Yes Sarge." Andrea says absently, wandering out of the office.

Upstairs in CID Neil drops the folders he'd collected minutes ago and falls back into his chair. His head in his hands doesn't stop the nausea that's mentally induced from what's just happened, it doesn't fill the growing gap she's left and it doesn't ease the conflict over what to do about Andrea and her secret. It's one of the few times in life he's ever felt like crying.

When Andrea gets home that night she has one message, the job's hers and although she was confidant and this was her last ray of light, the good news is of little comfort to her.

That night she sits and plans what she will tell Gina Gold tomorrow, at least there'll be no threats or intimidation.

* * *

"Sorry." Gina Gold apologises as the closing door makes Andrea jump, although in her civvies she'd still been apprehensive about coming in this morning. "Bit touchy today."

Worrying about what Neil might or might not do had kept her awake for more hours than she cared to be.

"Ma'am."

"I take it you want to talk to me about this." She waves a fax of which Andrea is unsure of the content. Lack of sleep heightens her shift into fight or flight mode. "You didn't tell anyone here you were applying for another job."

Immediately Andrea relaxes.

"No ma'am." Andrea hasn't really prepared anything to say.

"Do you mind me asking why PC Dunbar?" Personal curiosity Andrea tells herself, Gina Gold's asking is nothing more. Gina wants to know what her answer is, she dares not hope for a DI related one.

"I thought it was time to try other things, broaden my experience, I hope to come back to Sun Hill one day." The last part is no lie.

"Well you certainly did an excellent job while you were here, we'll have you back anytime." It's the only piece of comfort Andrea's gotten in weeks and even so she can't rely on it, it could all change depending on Neil.

"Thank you ma'am."

"You must have been exactly what they were looking for, this is quite a promotion." It cuts close for Andrea.

"Just lucky ma'am," Andrea hopes it will be the end of the conversation.

"You haven't given us the opportunity to throw you a farewell party," Gina smiles but Andrea's not too worried, a large farewell would only mean she'd have to go into details and the quieter she can slip away the better. Gina's words remind Andrea of Bruce's words, that no one would throw her a farewell party when they discovered who she was.

"I'll pop in from time to time with this new job, I just want to say goodbye to a few people."

"You'll clean out your locker?" Andrea nods. "Good luck."

"Thanks ma'am." Outside the office Andrea knows what she really deserves is a thorough dressing down and an armed escort from the building. Having collected her few personal items Andrea edges into the doorway at the end of the morning briefing, Inspector Gold announces her resignation and transfer to the relief and as Andrea's colleagues filter out of the room they heap warm wishes on her, none of which she deserves she tells herself.

"Good luck darlin', I'll miss you." Honey hugs her.

Lance shakes hands with her in their special way. "Come back sometime." Andrea knows she will be.

Reg and Tony kiss her cheek wishing her the best and Steve envelopes her in a bear hug that has the relief laughing.

Amber manages a smile with minimum jealousy though her sentiment is more genuine than Gabriel who manages to sound insincere using sincere words. Andrea has always felt he's seen her as a threat…to what she doesn't know.

Yvonne is last and she stands in the empty briefing room not knowing what to do or say. Andrea launches herself at the only person she'll miss as much as Neil but for different reasons, Yvonne embraces Andrea just as hard as she is being embraced herself.

"I'm so sorry, you've been such a good friend." Over Andrea's shoulder Yvonne echoes the sentiment.

"Stay in touch." Yvonne requests wiping a tear from her eye, over Andrea's shoulder Gina directs her eyes briefly towards her office. When she's alone Andrea takes one last look at the briefing room, a slow walk through the corridors and it's all over…she feels sadder than she thought she would.

* * *

"So now we know the plan." Yvonne says as she shuts the Inspectors office door but Gina looks unconvinced.

"That job came up last week." She informs Yvonne.

"So it was good timing or they pushed up their plans, either way we don't have to worry and they're obviously happy." Yvonne wants the whole thing over and done with. "Now if I could only get promoted."

"All good things come to those who wait." Gina reminds her. "But they won't if you don't get back to work."

"Ma'am," Yvonne says dryly.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Andrea smiles at the PC's she knows less well as she heads out of the building, word has gotten around already about her move and soon there'll be rumours as to why, fortunately she doesn't have to be here to hear them or be on the receiving end of certain looks.

As Andrea moves on she sees Neil approaching walking side by side with Samantha Nixon, a work conversation being carried on between them. Andrea slows her steps looking warily for a second at Neil.

"PC Dunbar, I hear you're leaving us, good luck." Andrea's always liked Sam Nixon; under the professional veneer is a very nice person.

"Thank you." Andrea says politely and there's an almost awkward pause before Sam quickly gets the inclination Neil is staying to say something of his own in private. "I'll see you upstairs Guv."

"Thank you DS Nixon." Neil says looking briefly to Sam who nods, both watch her as her heels click up the stairs.

Andrea shifts her personal belongings from one arm to the other, uncomfortable now they are alone, the officers that pass them don't count. Andrea looks at anything other than Neil; she can't stand the look on his face that she's caused.

"I heard already." Andrea only nods; she'd figured as much, everyone else seems to have found out. "The Super is disappointed to lose such a good officer." Andrea desperately wants to know what he's thinking, what he's going to do about her, is his last sentence a clue. She should also go upstairs and thank and farewell Adam Okaro before everything is blown to pieces if that's what Neil has decided to do.

"I should get out of here, I don't belong here." Andrea says softly giving Neil an exit, an opportunity not to say anything more.

"Yes you do, you just took the wrong path to get here." Wide eyed at the admission Andrea nods slightly. Neil swallows and looks both ways along the corridor. "I've decided not to say anything."

She should want to run, jump, cheer and kiss him, feelings similar to that experienced outside of The Daily News but she barely feels a weight lift. It's relief that's been thoroughly dulled by the fact she's lost him and now that he's let her off the hook her only punishment is the knowledge of what she's done and the look on his face that she forces herself to take in.

"Thank you." Andrea says quietly making sure she has Neil's eyes as she says the words that are not anywhere near sufficient, the words needed don't exist.

"I suppose you'll be back from time to time." The conversation switches but becomes increasingly awkward, Andrea wonders if he's stalling. A part of him not wanting to end the conversation and to have to say goodbye, again she tells herself that it's what she wants to be happening.

"I suppose." Andrea replies not knowing what else to say. They hold each others eyes for a moment, two people who've afflicted wounds on each other, one dealt the fatal blow.

"Goodbye Andrea." His words are so painfully final.

Neil steps away in a hurry and this time it's not Andrea wishing for a reaction in Neil, he's barely holding back a flood of emotion that he doesn't want her or anyone to see. It hurts to know that it's not because he still loves her or will miss her but because of the hurt she's caused him, she deserves to live with that knowledge Andrea tells herself.

"Goodbye Neil." She says after him, neither looking back to the other.

Out of her bag Andrea puts her sunglasses on; as she walks out of Sun Hill tears creep down her cheeks under the cover of the dark lenses, at one point she smiles to someone who wishes her good luck.

In her car she breaks down, curling around to cry into her seat.

* * *

A fortnight later Andrea arrives home in time to do nothing more than to shower and crawl into bed for tomorrow. 

Her day started at seven when the daily newspapers started calling about the events of the night before. At ten the staff meeting brought her up to speed on what would keep her busy for the next few days and then things got crazy.

The press swarmed at Barton Street, another murder and this time they'd discovered the scene. Andrea didn't see Bruce as she'd managed the impromptu press conference with Barton Street's Superintendent speaking. She spent the rest of her day fielding calls from journalists with questions and monitoring their coverage of the story to ensure the MET was being presented accurately.

The day was a success and tomorrow night she's on call when they'll converge again.

Cally doesn't do her usual dash for the grass out the front but Andrea's too tired to immediately realise there's probably a deposit somewhere.

"Couldn't you hold on?" She says affectionately as Cally trots after Andrea who's looking for a mess. There's none.

Her bathroom is the last place Andrea looks, at first she glances over the basin, it's far too high for Cally but quickly she realises it's too empty, Neil's things gone.

"Neil took you out." She says coming to the realisation out loud.

Andrea reefs open the bathroom cabinet – it holds only her things, his drawer is empty as is his side of the wardrobe. She pushes back the clothes on her side, tears prickling her eyes when she sees the one suit she hid is still there. Running her hands down the sleeve she's not sure what she feels or what her tears mean, anything can and has tripped her emotions in the past fortnight.

When she turns away, closing the wardrobe doors again, she knows she will have to return the suit and explain or leave it in her wardrobe and face looking at it each morning, another punishment the constant reminder it will be. Maybe that's why she hid it. She sees the ring Neil gave her that she put on top of his handkerchiefs now resting in the middle of the bed.

The mattress dips as Andres sits on the edge of the bed; Cally jumps up and wiggles her way into Andrea's lap. The folded note now rests under the velvet box.

_I bought this for you because I love you and I always will. I just don't know if I can trust you._

Fresh tears appear as Andrea opens the second note, she's too numb to analyse what type of love Neil might be making reference to or to take any hope from his 'don't know'.

_I've kept my key that I'll use with your permission to see Cally._

She'd put so much effort into her job in the past fortnight in an attempt to block everything out, the fact that she was making a good impression at the same time didn't register with her.

But right now the fact that the flat is painfully empty comes back to her again. The reality that it's really over lies in the emptiness and the note with the ring.

She needs to run, to be out of the flat, to distract herself, to exercise the sadness out. Low to the ground and with short legs Cally barely keeps up. Andrea's lost count of the number of times she's cried lately, sitting on someone's front fence; a panting Cally in her arms is just the latest time. At least she can laugh as the puppy licks the salty tears from her cheeks.

As sad as it may be, Andrea knows its Cally's unconditional loyalty and affection for her that's going to get her through.

* * *

Everyone looks weary, jet lagged; they push their luggage slowly no matter how much they have. For weeks Neil has anticipated Colin's return, through all the issues with Andrea he'd still looked forward to seeing Colin and now it dulled some of the pain he's feeling. 

A man younger than Neil is met by a woman with dark curly hair like Andrea's. His carry on slips from his hands and Neil averts his eyes as they embrace and kiss passionately. He can't watch it's too much of a reminder and he has too many wounds nowhere near being healed yet.

Past the reunited couple Neil sees Colin first, he's changed, looks taller but Neil knows it's unlikely, it's just that for Neil it seems like he's been gone for years. There's a new maturity in his eyes as he scans the crowd for Neil who moves out from behind other waiting family and friends.

Colin leaves his luggage stranded in the middle of the walkway and hugs his father. Neil runs through a gauntlet of emotions he doesn't think words can explain. Happiness and relief, he'd been nervous about Colin's reaction to coming home to him and somewhere he felt like he was getting a part of himself back and the large space left by Andrea would be filled, all be it in a different way to the way Andrea could.

"How are you?" It seems ridiculous to ask, they talked on the phone multiple times a week.

"Glad to be home." Colin says and Neil perks up further. "I missed you dad." With those few words and the admission he didn't expect, Neil is reassured that despite the dirty tactics he's done the right thing, for both of them.

"I missed you too." Neil hugs Colin this time but he can't help watch the reunited couple over his sons shoulder as they speak in low tones of affection and of how much they've missed each other. Neil wishes he still had that but even if he did he can't trust it right now.

"Are you alright?" Colin asks when they separate and Neil knows he can't let his problems spoil a happy homecoming. No matter how many couples he sees himself and Andrea in.

"Are you kidding?" Neil over compensates, pushing the luggage. "How was the US of A?"

"It's o.k." Neil looks over to Colin knowing he's not being totally forthcoming.

Neil suspects there's something else behind Colin's relief at being back in the UK but the last thing Neil plans to do is to press for the truth and make Colin feel unwelcome or like he should go back. It'll come out eventually.

"Are we going to the house?" Colin asks although he already knows Neil is living in the flat.

"I'm living in the flat, I didn't move you're stuff, you got new stuff for mum's flat?"

"She dragged me to every store in New York." Colin says and Neil's not sure how to react, it's new territory for him, does he smile, stay neutral or frown. It feels most natural to smile and Colin does as well.

"We could go and get your stuff." Neil offers and is met with surprise.

"Now?"

"I took the day off." Neil says like it happens every other day.

"Now," Colin repeats with different meaning and Neil laughs, there's no room in the car despite a few of Colin's things remaining in the US.

"What do you want to do first?" Neil settles back, the traffic is flowing well and the driving is easy.

"I can't wait to catch up with Bradley." Somehow Neil knew that could be the top of the list.

"Let's invite them out tonight, the whole family; you pick the restaurant, as long as it's not McDonalds." Neil offers.

"It's a restaurant dad." Colin jokes to cover his surprise at the offer.

"Not when you're trying to make a good impression." Neil argues.

"Me?" Colin questions.

"No me." Neil looks briefly across to his son. "Well?"

"Are you kidding, yes!"

"I'd like to get to know them better." Colin glows and Neil knows it's because this is the first time in a long time he or Philippa have shown interest in something Colin has an interest in. Neil's not proud of that.

He looks across at Colin a little longer than he probably should, he knows then there it's Colin who will get him through the hurt from Andrea, his focus will be on strengthening his relationship with his son.

* * *

Long after they parted with the McPhee's that night and Colin had been moved into the flat as much as possible, Neil finds himself looking at the photo of Andrea in his wallet. The one of the two of them no longer on the TV, buried in a drawer he never opens but not quite in the bin. He decides to slide the one in his wallet closer to the back when Colin interrupts. 

"When's the divorce going through?" Neil looks up, quickly sliding the photo back into its new hiding spot. Neil instantly wonders if Colin knows something is going on at Philippa's end or he's just asking out of curiosity.

"What answer did your mum give you to that question?" Neil doesn't look at his son.

"I never asked her." It strikes Neil as odd and further fuels his suspicion that there's something not right with Colin.

"I think we'll let the dust settle first." Its non committal, Neil isn't sure if Colin knows it's been left up to his father to file. "How is your mum?" Neil's not sure why he even asks, for Colin's sake most likely.

"You've talked recently." With the non answer Neil get's a stronger feeling Colin is holding something back; his son knows his father's conversations with his estranged wife are bare and perfunctory.

"Are you seeing anyone?" The question comes from out of the blue but shouldn't have surprised Neil who puts the question down to Colin looking for information or a reaction that might confirm a natural suspicion a child of divorce would have; that one or both of his parents are having or had an affair.

As Neil looks at Colin wondering if he should mention Andrea, he decides not to because they're not together anymore and it would only cause his son unnecessary hurt and pain. It isn't lost on Neil that Andrea probably applied the same reasoning to them when she thought about telling him the truth and decided not to before it became absolutely necessary. There's also the fact he wants to rebuild his relationship with Colin, not go the other way.

"No, no I'm not." Neil turns around and looks at his bed, the one Andrea has never slept in, he needs to say 'no I'm not' a few hundred more times for it not to affect him. But there's a look on Colin's face that takes precedence over it all.

"Are you?" It occurs to Neil that this person might be in the USA and Colin might be keen to get back and that makes Neil feel a little upset, then again there was nothing forced about Colin's words at the airport. The only thing he does know is the last question for Neil probably had nothing to do with him and was actually a way for Colin to introduce the topic.

"Maybe, I got a call last week, wanting to catch up when I got back." A slight smile crosses Colin's face.

"That's good." Neil encourages, pleased that the girl is here in London but the fact Colin is growing up and will soon be gone again, to live his own independent life, sweeps Neil with a twinge of sadness.

"Goodnight." Colin says, it's still early but he's still on New York time. Neil watches him go caught between being happy and unhappy he's getting older. There's a chunk of Colin's life Neil feels he's missed and he's not ready for Colin to leave till he's made that missing time up.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

The training day had been on the calendar for over a month but Andrea felt no more comfortable about it now the day had come than she had when she was first notified of it.

"Old stomping ground," Louise Martin comments, the Communications Officer for the Canley borough and Andrea's boss has a quick wit and approachable manner and made Andrea feel immediately welcome and appreciated. Andrea warmed quickly to the woman she worked side by side with, easing the hesitation she had at taking the job.

"Mmm but it feels like I'm returning to a place I was stomped all over for some reason." Andrea muses getting their gear off the back seat.

"Come on, hold your head high." Louise encourages heading towards the front doors, Andrea follows her unsure of what she should expect.

"Louise Martin here to see Inspector Gold for the media training day," Louise introduces herself. "With Andrea Dunbar," It might seem formal but Louise is a stickler for doing things right and therefore only once. JT picks up the phone, looking for Andrea who steps away from the double doors of the stairs to CID and from behind Louise.

"Hello." Andrea says hesitantly, still unsure of the reaction she's going to get but JT is smiling, it must be o.k., all rumours go through the front desk.

Andrea finds herself sitting on the chairs in the waiting area where she'd collected so many concerned family members or took down complaints; she'd escorted Bruce upstairs from here once. Wryly Andrea wonders if the automatically locking door still operates on the same code or if they changed it after she left. Louise seems much more relaxed, surrounded by media campaigns her office designed and sent out.

"Louise Martin." Gina Gold says affectionately, Andrea puts her head up and surprises the Inspector with her presence. "Andrea back so soon, miss us already?"

"Ma'am," Andrea says not really knowing what to say.

"I think it can be Gina from now on." The Inspector allows but Andrea still flashes a guarded smile, she still has a secret after all. "Andrea knows the way to the briefing room; I'll round up the relief."

Inside the corridors she's walked so many times Louise offers. "That wasn't so bad." Andrea knows there's only one person in the building who holds that much power over her to be able to make this visit bad. Thankfully he won't be present at their training day.

"Oi," Gina joins Yvonne in the canteen line. "You're at this thing today aren't you?"

"Yeah, why?" Yvonne pays for her tea.

"Louise Martin is running it with Andrea Dunbar as her assistant." Gina whispers.

Yvonne sighs, "With all due respect ma'am, they're no longer a threat to the MET or this station."

"Due respect aside Yvonne, I'm still curious, I want to know if he so much as glances into the room." Gina walks away before Yvonne can protest.

"Can you distribute the booklets?" Louise asks looking at the stack of bound paper that needs to be put one on each chair. Andrea obliges; anything to not feel so useless and new.

She starts on the left side of the room, back to the door and the corridor and doesn't see Neil pass. He lingers when he sees her, quickly stepping out of sight as Andrea drops a booklet onto each chair at the back of the room. She has line of sight as she finishes with the chairs under the window that looks out over the corridor, her eyes don't look up until she's done and then she looks back to Louise for guidance for what to do next.

Louise facing the front of the room looks over her shoulder towards the corridor and smiles briefly, Andrea turns after her but there's no one there.

"You didn't tell me you used to work with DI Manson." The sound of Neil's name spins Andrea back to Louise.

"I didn't technically, I was in uniform." Andrea attempts to distance herself.

"We worked together a long while ago when he and I were in uniform. I had a huge crush on him and he liked bossing me around and thinking women weren't up to the job. He was kidding himself; he had bouts of self doubt like the rest of us when we were new." Andrea might in any other circumstances cling to the new information about Neil from a new perspective, even if it is ancient history and she already knows what Neil is and was like. "Is he still ambitious and an old school statistics man?"

"He's mellowed a bit." Andrea says in an off handed way.

"Can't have been his wife then," Louise says with a laugh in her voice, Andrea doesn't because despite everything she has respect for Philippa, anything else would be unfair…though her actions with Neil may indicate otherwise.

"It was me." It just comes out, not thought about, raw, having not run through her head for a second. With Louise she feels she can be honest, it's her easy going nature, she's the type of woman you could sit for hours with and share your deepest secret with knowing she'll keep it locked up.

"Are you kidding me?" Louise says astounded.

"It was part of the reason I left here." Andrea looks down; about to divulge one of her deepest secrets, the other will go to her grave.

"Neil Manson doesn't look sideways at any woman, ever, you must be something special." The words come out and then Louise's face falls. "Oh, you said was."

"He's divorcing but we're not together anymore." Andrea searches through the boxes for no other reason than keeping herself distracted and busy.

"He was just outside the door and his look wasn't for me."

"That's nothing compared to the way I want to look at him…I was the reason for the split." It's the first time she's admitted it out loud, let alone to anyone else.

"Are you going to be alright today?" Andrea gets more caring and concern than she deserves.

"Yeah, people around here don't know, no one except you does so could you…?"

"Enough said." Louise comes back immediately.

"If you buy me a pint after this, if I get through this, lots of pints I'll be just drunk enough to tell you all about it." Andrea offers, it feels good to talk to someone else about it, even if it can't be the whole truth.

"Deal and I'll tell you about my last boyfriend who was obsessed with The Bill." Louise rolls her eyes.

"Do you have his number?" Andrea smiles widely.

"Oh no, not you too," Louise laughs and Andrea is reminded that Neil used to react the same way in the beginning as well.

"Andrea!" Honey near squeals after opening the briefing room door, she knows now that the rumours surrounding her departure can't have been that damaging. The two women embrace in a scene that's repeated as more Sun Hill officers fill the room.

* * *

"A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected by the officers at the scene a large crowd gathered. In the crowd a newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being the clever sort, the reporter started shouting loudly, let me through, let me through, I'm the son of the victim. The crowd made way for him and the police let him past the cordon they'd set up. Lying in front of the car, the victim of the accident was a donkey." A smattering of laughter goes through the group and Andrea thinks the joke is Bruce to a T. 

"Wow tough crowd." Louise comments, her joke an attempt to loosen everyone up, the mood is far too serious, "How about this one."

"A police officer pulls a reporter over after he'd been driving the wrong way up a one way street. The officer says, do you know where you're going? The reporter says no but whatever it is it must be bad because everyone's leaving." The joke gets a few more laughs.

"In all seriousness the media is essential in our line of work, if not at sometimes painful but they are the most effective means of releasing statements, getting our message across, finding lost people or asking for the public's help and information. We just need to know how to have a balance between things we want them to know and things we don't and that is part of what today's about." Louise has everyone's attention now.

"Our aim is to actively keep the community informed and aware but not have so much information that they panic and flood us with misinformation." Andrea makes mental notes as she goes, watching Louise's technique.

"We're going to help you today with things like getting the press away from the scene and controlling them by helping one another. We like you to think before you open your mouth so you don't re-write MET policy on the spot." Laughter circulates the room. "We'll show you how to give the press the bare minimum of information, a broad stroke with a brush because if you wouldn't bet your life on something, if it could damage the case down the track or it isn't in the public's best interest you shouldn't confirm or deny anything." Even Andrea smiles at the words, "Also how to wrap things up, thank them because after all this is a mutual relationship, they use us, we use them. Finally important things like not answering anymore questions no matter who calls out to you, walking away and getting busy, even if you have a discussion with your colleagues about going to the pub when the shifts over, people worry and criticise when you're actively not doing something."

Later as Louise leads a role play, Neil stops outside the room watching Honey laugh as she gives a wildly inappropriate but funny answer to Louise who is pretending she's from The Daily News – a nice touch for Andrea.

Andrea doesn't see Neil and when Louise catches his eye he smiles briefly and he moves on. Louise looks across at Andrea who turns but again she misses Neil; she shakes her head at Louise indicating she didn't see him and for Louise to back off, no more.

Yvonne doesn't miss the DI's look or the exchange between Andrea and Louise.

"I told the Super I'd give him ten minutes, to debrief the day." Louise looks across at Andrea as they begin to pack up, part of the look says, will you be o.k.?

"You're leaving me alone because you think he's been walking past to see if I'm alone and now I'm going to be so he's going to come in." Andrea sees through Louise's plan.

"That and you need time to think about how you're going to lie to me about that." Louise points to the ring Neil gave Andrea.

"That'll cost you a few more pints." Andrea jokes.

"Money well spent." Louise says breezing out of the room.

Like she predicted Neil comes in five minutes later. He stands in the doorway as they hold one another's eyes for a moment till Andrea goes back to putting things away. He sits in a chair with his back to the corridor, the door still open. "How's the job going?"

"Good, I'm enjoying it. I just spent a week in Lincolnshire at a course run for newly appointed press officers. It was interesting to learn how other press offices are run, how we deal with events differently, I learnt a lot. They had people talk to us that had been involved in big events and we had some training in TV and radio." Andrea rambles through the details, nervous. She doesn't think she should have bought up the TV and radio training; Neil will cynically consider it unnecessary given what he knows she used to do.

"That's good." Neil says slowly, almost as if he doesn't know what else to say.

"I like working with Louise Martin." Andrea adds and then kicks herself; she shouldn't have bought Louise up.

"She was a good street cop." Neil says as Andrea continues to pack up, she knows that's all she'll get out of him. He's not so dumb to realise Andrea's talked about him. "It took guts to come back here."

It makes Andrea look instantly up to him. "It's the right way for me to be here." She goes back to packing. "You look good, happy." After she's said it she wonders if Neil will interpret her words as being happy to be free of her. In reality it's a mask that hides immense pain, so is hers.

"Colin's back living with me." Andrea looks back at Neil again, pleased for him.

"How is he?"

"Good, older, wiser, happy to be back in the UK, missed his friends and his dad." Neil says 'dad' with a smile.

"That's good." Andrea says with a small smile but it's about as positive as she can be.

"He's got a girlfriend."

Andrea takes a moment to analyse the underlying tone, there's uncertainty there as if Neil thinks Colin will be gone again only just having got him back.

"He's a good kid Neil."

"He's not a kid anymore." Neil corrects regretfully. "How's Cally?"

"Misses you," It's meant to tug at his heart strings and when Andrea looks at him she knows she's been successful. "She won't sleep in her bed anymore, always at the foot of mine." Sleeping in her bed is hard for Andrea too when so many nights the bed had Neil in it as well.

"I'd like to see her..."

"Sure." Andrea cuts him off, in the corridor she sees Smithy approach and slow.

"You want to come for a drink tonight Dunbar, a big group of us are going, we'll make it the send off we never got a chance to give you." Smithy leans through the doorway and Andrea takes her focus from Neil.

"I can't tonight, Louise and I are having a girl's night, you've got my number right? Another night?"

"I'll hold you to that." Smithy promises.

"Well I shouldn't hold you up, it was good seeing you." Neil rushes his words and out of the room.

"Neil." Andrea calls in protest but he's too far gone, Smithy came too close to his former territory just then, even though he was miles from anything Neil ever had with Andrea. He wonders if that means somewhere inside of him he wants her back.

Upstairs Neil opens the intranet and finds Andrea's photo under the title of her new job. She's smiling the way he loves her too. He bookmarks the page and almost saves the photo to file.

* * *

"So tell me." Louise places a pint in front of Andrea, the first for the night. 

"It started as an affair and gradually we were seeing more of one another until I got tired of having him only part time."

"The curse of the married man, he's split between two." Louise takes a mouthful of her beer.

"Or the commitment-phobe's dream, so we sorted that out and we were happy again, then we came back from a weekend away and his wife is taking a job in the USA and taking their son with her and wants a separation."

"It's never a rosy time, despite what the novels may say." Something about Louise's voice tells Andrea she's not surprised by Philippa's career move.

"So I accuse him of wanting to go back to his wife, I tell him I'll go to the USA, I apply pressure and he feels trapped, caught. I feel resentful that I'm losing him again, when he decides to stay I decide I can't fight anymore so we agree step back till the dust settles. Then I go and betray him and now it's over." The abridged version, Andrea takes her first mouthful of her beer.

"Oh it's not over, I saw the way he looked at you today, the Neil Manson I know has never cheated much less had a quick fling. The way he used to talk about Philippa is the way I bet he talks about you. If you've lasted with him this long the man's in love with you," Louise is definitive.

"There's no trust between us anymore, I blew that." Andrea admits, "There's no water under the bridge."

"Then why do you still wear that?" Louise points to the ring.

"Call it naively living in hope, maybe its arrogance or denial that he'll come back. I think mostly it's because he asked me to wear it and I owe him that, it's the least I can do." Andrea twists the ring on her finger. "I used to wear it here." She points to her middle left finger.

"Still you must still care about him to do what he wishes. I mean you're apart so what if he wants you to do something." Louise argues and Andrea looks at her drink.

"I'm going to need a lot more of these if I'm going to keep talking or you're going to have to take over." Andrea suddenly sounds down.

"We'll come back to you." Louise promises.

* * *

The End…To be continued in the next story…story ID – 2959211 

**Author's end note**: Not much Neil.Andrea I know but it was necessary to set the scene for the way things are going to be and to introduce Louise, look for more Neil.Andrea in the next part.


End file.
